I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Ladies don't puke and tell
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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