She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
