i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
