I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
