friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
