Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Did I show you my penis last night?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
