I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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