i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
