Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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