Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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