Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
