How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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