Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
