Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
