i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
