so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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