all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
