porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
