This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
