i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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