Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
