We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
