I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
