Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
