I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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