he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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