wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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