I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
