I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
