Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
