Welp...herpes.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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