My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
