You're so nebulous sometimes
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
