Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
