I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
