I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
