mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
