I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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