Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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