she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
