I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
