The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
