At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just high enough for therapy.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
