So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
