Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
