I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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