Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
