Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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