Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
