Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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