ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
