I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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