Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
