Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
