Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
